Special Thanks to Dad!

Today was a very long hard day filled with work, therapy and a long list of things to do...all the while feeling terribly physically. But, I must say I have also been filled with an abundance of gratitude for my Dad! He drove all the way down here from his place this morning, just to pick up a tape deck so that he can record some tapes onto CDs for me. He has really been a very huge backbone of strength this last month or so. I feel he has really been there to just love me and encourage me along the way; not telling me what to do, but supporting whatever choices I have been making. I am pretty sure I would not be able to even go away to this center if it were not for him allowing me to borrow a large sum of money. He also has given me a huge amount of moral support. He has gotten actively involved in learning as much as he can and this has spoken the loudest for his deep love and care for me. He was given a book on diseases by a new acquaitenance, read it and then gave me a copy to read. This book was extremely powerful and helped me significantly. Then, I asked him if he would watch these videos I had received regarding the Gerson Therapy...it was 9 hours long...and he watched it all and embraced it whole heartedly. He has done a bunch of reading on the internet as well. I feel so very blessed that I now have such a special relationship with my father...for there is not ever a day that I take this for granted!!!!

Graduated to Geek Hood!

Well, I was up all night last night so I finally just decided to get out of bed and finish this Blog. I feel I have officially graduated to geek hood. I figured this Blog thing out all on my own with exception to how to get photos on the site. So, today I hope to send out the website link to all my friends via email since I still have not responded to all of their hundreds of email replys and questions from my one way ticket email announcement last week. I am sure no one has time to read all of this, but it was fun anyhow...and will be a good journal for me to keep for myself.

Thanks MOM!

WOW! Which stands for MOM upside down! Well, I once again received a check in the mail today...this time from my Mom. This is REALLY HARD to keep accepting this generosity and help from others! Last week, my mom very generously offered via email to help pay for my plane ticket, but I declined because I know she does not have much money herself. Well, today I receive a check in the regular mail from her! Once again, I am filled with guilt, awkwardness, gratitude, and humbleness from all of this good and generosity I am receiving. It is very uncomfortable and I contemplate whether or not I should really cash it?!

In Honor of Bob Hammon

I opened my mail and the tears just started rolling down my face today. The note says this, "I'm sorry that you are having these health problems. I know Bob would want to help you with your expenses, as do I. Please take care. I wish you a complete recovery. Love, Helen." It was accompanied with a large sum of money. Helen Hammon is the wife of Bob Hammon who was my once a week, long-time (over 7 years) massage client who passed away from cancer last year. I miss Bob so very much and this gesture from Helen left me stunned without words. I called her to thank her like an hour later with this overwhelming sense that I just can not accept such a gift. I feel so overwhelmed with uncomfotableness and a warm, warm heart all at once.

A Donation for the Cause

I do not feel well again today. But, I am so tired of talking about it.

I received a small cash bonus from Bob Nickles, friend and massage client, after his session last night. He said that it was so he would not have to attend some fundrasier later. Hmmm? Not a bad idea?

Thanks Bob!

Yikes!

Well, I sent out a short email yesterday to all my friends to let them know I was leaving town....and I am overwhelmed with all of the return messages. They all have a million questions and want to know all the details and I just do not have the time or strength to respond to them all. So, I am sooooooo glad I created this Blog if I could just now figure out how to work this dang thing ASAP so I can give them the link to read all the details. I am trying to find a place to post Frequently Asked Questions and somehow place it at the top?? I need a computer geek to rescue me here...

I am SOOOOOO Sad!

I just found out that my roommate from the hospital, Tracy, passed away on 2/11/07. For those of you who got the opportunity to meet her if you came to visit me in the hospital you probably got to also experience her amazingly strong spirit! We became quite bonded as I was on a portabale toilet right by my bed shitting all night while she was in her bed barfing. Pretty much all modesty goes right out the door at this point! She was only 36 years old and her cervical dysplasia was supposedly removed 8 years earlier, but it had metasicized into a tumor in her leg. It was very large so they had to try to shrink it through radiation first before they were able to do surgery and/or chemo. Check out her blog at http://tracyfavreau.blogspot.com/. It is quite heart wrenching!

Letter of Notice to my Massage Clients

Well, I just got back from mailing off over 40 letters to let my most active clients know when my last day of work would be. I feel sooo bad that I am leaving them all hanging, but I just have NO idea how long I will be gone and what will transform while I am there.

Today is Tuesday, so I get to go to Meditation class tonight! I am looking forward to it because I was too sick to go last week.

A One Way Ticket to Paradise!

Well, it is official. I do not mess around...an hour after I get off the phone with the doctor I purchase my ticket. There is no turning back now. I just booked my one-way air flight to arrive on the Big Island of Hawaii on Thursday, March 22, 2007! I did not schedule a return flight because she said it is going to take a minimum of 3 weeks but could take a few months for me to detox, replenish and recover.

She does offer a work study program where she will allow me to help in the kitchen and do various other things to help around the house in exchange for FREE room and board! I am sooooo in...but she said that she will not allow it until I am well enough to do so. This place is pretty expensive, so I sure hope she offers that option to me early on... We will see?

...So I am leaving on a jet plane and I don't know when I'll be back again. Isn't that a song?

I will be staying at the Naturopathic Retreat Center in the city of Keaau (about 10 minutes South of Hilo). You can find out more information about Dr. Baylac's Naturopathic Retreat Center at her website at www.mindyourbody.com

The count down begins...Just 31 days and I will be arriving in what I consider PARADISE! ALOHA!

I AM GOING TO HAWAII !!!!

So, after faxing my 20 page document last Friday night, I received a phone call today (Monday) and was offered acceptance into her center! Yippee!!!!! Not only am I going to finally go somewhere that I feel will actually be able to help me, but on top of that it is in my favorite place on the earth!! (Well, it is not the island of Kauai, but close enough!) I feel so very blessed to have found this place!!

I am excited and scared. The program will be quite intense and grooling at first, but I could not ask for a better place to be! Basically, I will first be put on a water ONLY fast for a minimum of 10 days to give the bowels a chance to rest, then gradually adding specially squeezed fresh organic juices (massive amounts 17 to 20 pounds if eaten as whole foods) to flush the system ALONG WITH coffee enemas to detox (I am dreading that part for sure...however a very important component). Then, eventually adding real food back into the diet...but, of course, all organic vegetarian foods full of nutrients.

NO WONDER EVERYONE WANTS TO JUST TAKE THE EASY ROUTE OF DRUGS AND SURGERY...THIS HOLISTIC ROUTE IN NOT EASY!

Another day...

Day 5...still very sick. My stomach is huge. I had the night sweats again last night. I am still having on going bathroom runs..but at least not as often...once every hour now. I have to spend all day today working on the Gerson Institute Application and essay questions for the Naturopathic Retreat Center. I was suppose to fax it to her on Wed. then on Thrs., but I have just been too sick to even start working on it. I hope today will be a bit better.

Day 4...

Well, it is day 4 of the severe diahhrea....every 15-30 minutes. I am really scared something is really wrong! I have had digestive problems and diahhrea on and off for years. But, somehow this time it feels much worse than it has been in a long time... if ever....???

Happy Valentine's Day! - Today I Picked the Place!

Day three of continual bathroom runs literally every 15-30 minutes. I am so dehydrated!

But, the good news is...Dr. Baylac called me back last night and left a message telling me to call her back at 1pm Hawaii time today. I was in the middle of a therapy session with Sami when it was time to call her. So, I put my cell phone on speaker and that way Sami could also get a feel for her. We both really liked her a lot! Despite how awful I felt physically I must say I felt a bit excited and a bit relieved to have finally found a place to go!!! FINALLY!

She is requiring for me to send her a 20 year medical history, an 8 page application form and answers to a bunch of essay questions. GREAT...one more application to do...and I am so sick...I am really not sure how I am going to get through yet another???

My Second Home...

My second home through this ongoing illness has become the bathroom and I have become quite accostomed. But, last night I was up ALL night needing to go every 15 minutes! It started yesterday morning and it continued all through the night and has continued all day today...so I am unable to attend my weekly meditation class tonight...which I am bummed about...uh gotta go again...more later...

Narrowing My Options

Well, today has been a very busy day. I have basically narrowed all my options down to only a few places. It is between the Texas Clinic, the Gerson clinic in Mexico and The Gerson clinic in Hawaii. I went and looked at the Optimum Health Clinic in Lemon Grove. I could stay there a week at a time and it would be the least expensive, but they only serve wheat grass which my body can not handle and they do not have any medical staff on board and will call 911 if you get ill.

Falling More and More in Love with MEDITATION!

Meditation Really Does Work! I have been getting more and more into meditation and have literally felt my body healing when I go to my meditation class on Tuesday nights. There is something special about being there amongst a group of people meditating verses being home alone and meditating. I think the energy force is stronger in a group setting....OR my teacher, Lynne, is some type of magical healer. I have been in a tremendous amount of pain....STILL. It seems to get a lot worse when I sit still and become more present in meditation. There have been times when I have wanted to scream at the top of my lungs from the pain..(not quite appropriate in a meditation class). But, the last few times I have been I have felt a significant shift by the time I leave. Who knew? I was not going there to heal my physical ailments, but to more just build a stronger spiritual connection to learn how to live with and better accept my physical pain. I have felt a lot of movement in my body and some really strange yet profound physical sensations accompanied by a very deep knowing that my body is healing when I am there. But, I will not post all of these experiences here because I am sure most of you think I am crazy just by saying what I have so far. The Dharma Center is located in Ocean Beach and the meditation classes are FREE (donations accepted). If any of you are interested in attending there website is: www.dharmacenter.com

Still Learning So Much!

Since my last entry in here I have continued to pursue the Texas Clinic, but I am waiting on some information they sent me to come in the mail. I found out if I go there I will have to stay in a hotel or rent an apartment and do all my own meals. They will do detailed lab tests, assist with coffee enemas, structured diet and supplements.

However, in the meantime, I have also been looking into the Gerson Therapy. This program is a proven nutritional program for cancer and other degenerative diseases with over 60 years of success in reversing advanced stages of cancer and other illnesses. One of my clients, John Abbott, had given me a book called The Gerson Therapy months ago and I am finally getting around to reading it now. Then, come to find out, another one of my clients, Garry Schaeffer, has a set of three, three-hour videos on the program as well. So, I watched them, as well and they were very informative and really helped motivate me to continue in this direction. I really do feel this type of program will help me and that is a miracle that I found something at all for one and second that I actually believe in it's success so strongly.

I also finished reading (FINALLY!) an excellent book that my sister, Janet, let me borrow titled the “Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing” by Caroline Myss, PH.D. This added more pieces to the puzzle for me. Then, I also finished listening to a serious of audio tapes titled “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment” by Eckhart Tolle that my girlfriend, Ana, let me borrow.

I feel like all of this information has been the best of the best and all given to me by human angels that I have been blessed with in my life.

FOR SPIRITUAL AND EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE:
“Of Monkey and Dragons: Freedom from the Tyranny of Disease” by Michele Longo O’ Donnell (Dad gave me)
“Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing” by Caroline Myss, PH.D. (Sister gave me)
“The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment” by Eckhart Tolle (Friend Ana gave me)

FOR THE PHYSICAL TREATMENT OF ALL DEGENERATIVE DISEASES (introduced to me by two different massage clients, John Abbott and Garry Schaeffer):
www.gerson.org
The Gerson Institute
1572 Third Avenue
San Diego, CA 92101
(619) 685-5353 or (888) 4-Gerson

This treatment is completely holistic through a VERY regimented nutritional detox and restoration program. The program must be done in its entirety; it will not work if you only do bits and pieces of the suggested diet or detox methods. There are three licensed Gerson Healing Centers in Mexico, Hawaii and Loma Linda, CA. It is highly suggested that all critically or severely ill patients attend the facility in Mexico only. They have a HUGE success rate of patients completely recovering from even very, very late stage diseases. Since the program has been around for over 60 years there is documented proof of patients that have recovered and were still alive 30-40 years later!!! This program is NOT EASY and must require some very serious lifestyle changes. I suggest viewing the following Gerson Institute educational video tape series to get a better understanding:
Volume I – The Gerson Therapy – Overview (The Proven Nutritional Program For Cancer and Other Illnesses)
Volume II – The Gerson Therapy at Home
They also do have several books or you can look at the website and/or call them directly.

Health Update 2/1/2007

I went to a free lecture last weekend and met a former MD, Psychiatrist and Neurologist that is now doing integrative mind/body medicine here locally. I saw her free lecture advertised in a brochure I get in the mail from a mailing list I am on. She advertised this:

"Are you frustrated by the system? Do you need a doctor who will listen to you? Who will take the time to give you the care you need? Have you suffered persistent problems that don't respond to treatment? Do you have a problem that nobody is able to diagnose? Now there is a doctor who will do all that just for you. A California licensed MD who will give you a thorough examination, review your chart, confirm or correct your diagnosis, and issue reports to your regular medical provider. I will do whatever it takes to see you in an immediate and timely manner even if that means seeing you outside of regular work hours!"

NOW OF COURSE THAT SURELY ATTRACTED ME! :-) So, I went to the free lecture which was on depression and nutritional deficiency. Definitely another big piece to the puzzle...since my body is unable to absorb nutrients!

I am also seriously considering going to a Holistic Clinic in San Antonio, Texas, but have not even contacted them yet to get more details on some questions I have regarding my personal condition as well as the cost, time and lodging situation. My Dad recently met the husband of Michele Longo O’Donnell who founded and ran the clinic for 25 years and has since written a book. So, my Dad gave me the book to read....total higher power thing. I finished reading the book, ‘Of Monkeys and Dragons’, over a week ago and have since typed up a 13 page synopsis of my interpretation of what I read. I already knew a lot of what she wrote about, but I just never knew how to go about explaining it to the doctors I saw or finding a place to receive this kind of care in a whole package. She did a good job of tying it all together. This once again confirms my intuition and extensive research of what I need to do to get well.

So, the search continues to find a holistic place to go for treatment...